So I just got out of a boring iftar tomorrow night. Its at my parents' friends' crib. There's these group of paki families who live in the same neighborhood who throw potluck iftars for their circle. The circle was barely managemable at 4 families a few years ago but has now grown to about 8. I moved out of the 'hood about 2 years ago and there were no expectations on me to attend said festivities whilst single. However, as soon as I got married, and had child, expectations to attend have risen exponentially for this expatriat. I've successfully managed to attend 1 out of the 4 or 5 dinners thus far. These aunties are a cunning bunch. They plan for us. They take advantage of the fresh blood (my wife) thrown into this ever expanding circle by merely telling her: "You make that thing you make", referring to the foreign cuisine called boolaney of her native Afghanistan. Effectively pre-empting any counterstrike from the husband who has enough pull to decline invites as he has done successfully for years as The Bachelor. Basically, the signs are out there: "Oldmanville - Next Exit". However, I'm closing my eyes driving the fast lane. Uncles, aunties, outta my way! Darn it, Nuriya needs to pee, gotta look for a pit stop. "Oldmanville, Exits 10,11,12,13,14,15". I cannot escape.

So I hear Britney's got dat "boom boom". I'm in da zone baby, awe yeah.

Doogie Howser should reprise his role on ER. That or a crossover episode with Scrubs. Either of these situations would destroy The Bachelor VI.

Last night I ended up paying some bills. Alhamdulillah I haven't been late on any payments for the past few years ever since I started using MS Money. Excellent credit, keep the 0% credit card offerings coming, so long as they're valid till 2005.

Any way, I think its time for me to find a bank that does free online bill paying. I am tired of sitting at my desk writing checks, stuffing envelopes, licking them, and stamping them. Although self-adhesive stamps are the hotness. Why didn't they think of that in the Fourties though?

I hate when a bill comes out to $4x.xx. I don't know how to spell 40. Sometimes I spell it with a u and sometimes I don't. Fourty makes more sense. Forty looks weird. But forty it is, as I loaded dictionary.com last night. But rest assured, I will face the same dilemma next month when my cell phone bill is due. Unless I find a bank that does free online bill pay.

Mariam's watching Fine Living with Sheila Bridges or some wack show like that. They showed two apartments both decorated by two pairs of guys who live in them. Hmmm...

Gazala officially becomes a lawyer today. So mess with me and I'mma sue!

Found today on cnn.com:

VIDEO
Female high school students suspended for kissing in cafeteria
PLAY VIDEO

Do we really need to see this? Just write about it!

I just peeped out the window. It's really windy out. This speed walker was out walking against the wind, leaning forward to fight the gusts. I found that funny. But it wasn't as funny as his adidas windbreaker puffing up with all the wind. Now that was classic. What up Popeye?

So last night during tarawih prayers my cell phone rang. I know I know shoulda shut it off. Any ways it was some unknown 720 area code #. When I checked my voice mail, it was two minutes of salaat from some other imam, perhaps in another state! I have one cousin in Denver but I don't recognize the 720 #, maybe he changed cell phones.

Since my name starts with A, I tend to be at the top of many cell phones and people misdial me all the time. It sucked when I get 5 minutes of nothing voice mails especially when I didn't know how to forward to the end.

Suhoor check: Mom's left-over rice and chicken roast; Mariam's left-over boneless chicken; one glass of water (ran out of time)

Breath check: kickin'.

Suhoor check: Water from bathroom tap, out the faucet.

I feel like Baja Fresh for iftar.

Find me a good halal gyro joint and dinner's on me. I miss gyro deliveries from College Inn @ UVA. Chicken gyro mmm.

I submit that London Fog is today's Members Only.

The last french fry. Remember those days when you'd fight your sibling over the last of anything? I always used to win that. But now that I'm married, I've learned to contain myself. Although if Mariam insists, I will eat the last Al-Safa chicken tender after a token offering by me. However, I do go out of my way to let her have the last of most things.

Last night, I brought up the last 2 Twix from our unfinished Halloween handouts. One for her, and one for me. I set them on my nightstand and went to do wudhu. Upon my return, both were gone.

With Nuriya growing up, I'm going to have a hard time finishing second to last.

Remember the Cranberries? Calling VH1...

Despite it being Ramadan, I have this repeated urge to say: Shiatsu! The other day we had dinner at the food court in the mall. There's this halal joint called Grill Kabab. The food came out bad so we ended up junking it. Our peoples are the most unoriginal entrepeneurs this side of the Vietnamese. What's up Pho 23? We have Grill Kabab, Charcoal Kabab, Korner Kabab, and Moby Dicks. I have no explanation for that last one.

Any way, after "eating" and attempting to sucker Mariam into getting some Ben & Jerry's, we strolled through the mall and on the way out stopped in The Sharper Image. We basically sat there for a good 30 minutes. Holy shiatsu that was nice. I think I'm gonna get one for us and the 'rents.

Suhoor check: you snooze you lose

Iftar check: pasghetti with home-cooked keema topped with Ragu chunky mushroom & greenpepper sauce purchased at 99cents per with Food Lion MVP card. Three slices of toasted white bread with fake butta. Insha'Allah.

So I got a call this morning from the missuz. Mariam had just finished looking at the Ramadan calendar and noticed that the fasts were starting later and later and ending earlier and earlier. So she called me and asked if when we're 40 will our fasts be even shorter? She is not a trophy blonde. But she sure as heck isn't looking forward to summer 2020!

Referring to the blogworthiness of Ali's post in the comments below Suhoor check:

ayan: that wasn't blogworthy
ayan: it evinced no salient points
ahsan: ayan: that makes it entirely blogworthy
ayan: ahsan i disagreee with your interpretation of blogworthiness
ahsan: interpret this!

Suhoor check: unda toast, 3 glasses of water, pepto bismol

I rocked the vote today. Got me a nifty sticker to prove it.

The past month has been ridiculous in terms of the amount of garbage political mail I've gotten. Just the fact that you are spamming my mailbox repetitively is enough to make me not vote for you. But we have this sister who was running for the County Board. So last night I got the mail and there was a flier from the opposing candidate which said nothing about himself and just gave bogus reasons not to vote for her. Amongst the reasons were: all her fundraising occurs out-of-state (and thus out-of-county). Hello! Her parents live out-of-state and its JUST a county election! What's up Gray Davis? Another reason was that she has no property or car in the County. Hello! Its under her husband's name! I mean what is up with dirty politics? There is just no excuse to send this BS on the last day so that the opposing candidate cannot refute any claims made against her. Ain't no party like the Republican party coz the republican party don't stop (screwing the world).

This blog was paid for by the Friends of Ralph Nader. Sike.

This Saturday night after tarawih prayers we went over to my boy's house to shoot some pool. He just got a new pool table and is now cool. So does anyone really know the rules, I mean really? We just made up house rules after referring to the book a couple times on debateable issues such as: can the person who breaks call whichever set of balls if both a solid and stripe go in? The house rules are pretty much made on the fly as we toil around the pool table. But then why do we get all worked up over the "integrity of the game" when one of us accidentally hits a ball out of place. Another instance of ruining the integrity of the game is when one of us completely whiffs and the cue ball heads in some wild direction and we quickly stop it and place it back at its original position.

You know in high school I had to do a senior project in computer class. I decided to do one on finding the optimal angle to hit a cue ball given any random placement of the other balls. It took me the entire year before I realized I had to implement constraints such as the coefficient of friction and also the fact that it is impossible to write a program that will run for the infinite degrees of angles. Not to mention spin. I BS'd my way into a B+.

On integrity, I always felt the integrity of the show Fresh Prince of Bel Air was lost when they replaced the dark slender mom with the chunky fair one. Props to Uncle Phil though.

This morning after fajr we tried going back to bed. Nuriya, on the other hand, was ready to start her day. All fatherly biases aside, Nuriya is by far the cutest kid ever. The past two days, she's begun by arching her back in ways only she knows how, to look up towards the head of her crib at a flower on her bumper. We really need to get her a mobile! She stays in this poistion, sucking on her fingers, for up to 20 minutes, mashaAllah so cute. Unfortunately I didn't have a camera on hand. Until recently, Nuriya used to patiently wait awake in her crib for her parents to wake up. Or at least not cry until we got enough sleep after fajr. But in the past few days she's discovered her voice! And now she just lets out this continuous squeal which only a parent can love. She went on for about half an hour just talking away. So I'm running on a little less sleep than normal.

Mariam just called. She's got a sore throat and a screechy voice. The funny thing is that Nuriya is confused! A different voice is coming out of her mama's mouth! I've asked Mariam to let Nuriya do the talking today. Can't wait to get home once again.

We had this brit in chemistry class. He used to say "aluminium." We all laughed inside. Otherwise, we didn't really have the same shedule.