Green Plastic Watering Can

Who else's mom cuts a couple inches off the lota to increase water flow? Sucks going to someone's house with an unmodified lota which you end up overcompensating for the lower flow rate with a higher tilt causing spillage out of the top all over yourself.

Secondly, momz has instituted a leave the lota full policy which doesn't carry over to others' homes thus often leaving me with an empty green plastic watering can.

Thank God for fake plastic trees.

Paint it blech

We're painting our bedroom Costa Rica Blue. The previous owners of the home left the master bedroom a dark shade of green. You know, the shade of green popular on Jeep Grand Cherokees back in 97. So any way, we were cleaning the walls, wondering if the dried boogers on the one wall were ours or theirs. What is the most accurate way to determine this? Carbon dating or a DNA test?

Googs

I submit that Tom Gugliotta is a Menendez brother.

82 cents

Just another reason Target kicks Walmart's ais. Totino's cheese pizza is now just 82 cents and fully stocked at Target. We got our usual 6 boxes. Before the Target's of Virginia recently opened their grocery sections, we used to hit up Walmart for our bulk supply of Totino's cheese pizza. But the cheap desis who shop at Walmart would clean out the freezer leaving a tall stack of pepperonis and three meat pizzas. 99 cents at Walmart seemed like a great deal for some kick ais pizza ready in 9 minutes flat at 450 degrees, oven pre-heated, sans tray. But a couple months ago Target opened up its grocery section to my delight and we now haven't been to Walmart since. Since desis prefer Walmart over Target, the cheese Totino's are plentiful, and cheaper!

Well, dinner's ready!

What's under there?

Mustachioed.

Yes. I spelled it correct. Will they make a comeback? Upon my visit to the motherland, my mamoos and chachas were still very much mustachioed. My mamoo's children had stylish coiffes as they were raised in the city. My taiyyas' children and grandchildren from the pindh were all rocking staches and poofy punjabi hair, the kind that frizzes in humidity. One day, inshaAllah, my father will install Sabro air conditioning units in the mud huts. That will make our next one night stay in the gown bearable.

The big three oh!

The big one!

Only users lose drugs.

Target or Wal-Mart?

RIP Ray. I never saw this coming. Neither did you.

Yesterday on my drive home from work, I saw this dude driving his pickup truck with a prosthetic arm hanging out the driver-side window. I didn't get a good look at his "hand" but when he passed by, I noticed his license plate: CPT HOOK! Aaaahahahahaha!

Anybody else hate the colleague in the corner cube with the monitor facing the back of his cube? How did he manage to do this? Not only does he have the least frequented cubicle, but his monitor is set up perfect. When I moved to my cube, I tried in vain to have my monitor facing the back. I ended up placing my desktop next to the monitor but that's only a partial block. So now I sit at an awkward angle just to get my www on.

Anybody in my predicament have a left pinky strain? One can only ALT-TAB so much.

Speaking of ALT-TAB, don't you hate when it flips over to a pop-up ad? These ads tend to contain images of scantily clad women trying to sell me miniature cameras. Thats a blog unto itself. So then you get caught up in an ALT-TABbing frenzy, hoping to land on a SQL*Net window.

Does anyone ALT-TAB when their phone rings? What explains this phenomenom? Cubicles leave me on edge I guess.

Speaking of edges, does anyone have a manager taller than their cubicle edge? I ALT-TAB upon hearing footsteps.

ALT-TABs used in completing this post: 8

I took over putting Nuriya to sleep about four nights ago. Never done it before. It is awesome though, despite it taking 20 minutes. Basically I take her upstairs at 9:30 and make sure all the lights are out. She cries and tries to walk up my chest to get out of my grip. Meanwhile downstairs mom is fighting the urge to have me bring her down while listening to her cries on the baby monitor. They don't last long though. Mariam gets upset that I liken this to "breaking her spirit" as Nuriya's cries slow to a whimper, and then finally she falls asleep at my shoulder. As I lean over the crib, sleeping beauty clings to me as I lay her gently. The hardest part is attempting to remove my arm from beneath her without disturbing her. Its flattering to feel that she grips on to it, her security blanket. SubhanAllah.

If I'm lucky, I make it downstairs in time for the beginning of CSI.

I am purchasing a legal copy of The Last Samurai today on its release date. Unfortunately, it was not available in Pakistan a month ago.

A major tragedy occurred this past week in the ADAMS community. A group of friends met up after classes and decided to enjoy the perfect spring weather by driving out to Great Falls park on the Potomac River. Tragically, one of the bros slipped into the strong currents of the Potomac and another went into help, only to be swept away himself. 20 and 24 years old respectively.

I did not know either personally, but my family is acquainted with one of theirs. We paid our respects at the grief-stricken parents' home the following day. Alhamdulillah, I have been relatively spared from experiencing such a tragedy in my immediate circles. I have yet to experience the pain that these fine young mens' parents are experiencing. I can only ask that Allah give them sabr knowing that their sons are Shaheeds, inshaAllah.

My friend and former colleague, Andrew, perished a couple of months ago while I was away in Pakistan. I didn't hear of it until I returned a couple weeks after his and his fiancee's ferry capsized in the Baltimore Harbor.

Three promising lives snatched from us in their prime.

These are all reminders that our time is written and there will come a time when we have to own up to the way we have lived. Thankfully, Allah spares us in our cozy homes out in America from such tragedy. But on the same token, are we in need of constant reminders that we all face an end in this dunya? There is no doubt that we pray humbly in the immediate aftermath of such tragedies but it always seems to wane away. When at the masjid, you always hear "Pray as if this is your last prayer." Let's live each minute as if its our last minute...with Allah's name sweetening the tips of our tongues.

May Allah grant our two brothers who perished in the Potomac a home in Jannah near the river Rajab. Ameen.

So today I heard Bittersweet Symphony on the FM on the way home. This is one song I have to sing along with. Slow and enunciated. Wait...aren't they british? Odd. I digress. So a couple years ago I was just riding along and there was this Dave Mathews tune on the FM and I came up to a red light and it was a song of theirs where theres a part Dave sings real fast and I looked in my rear view mirror and the dude behind me was lipping the fast part but I know for sure he had no idea what Dave was saying. Speaking of sing-along songs, I heard Come Undone on the FM on the way to lunch today. Now I was listening carefully and I could not tell what the hell Simon was saying. (<- Woah, Simon says, ha!). I need to look those lyrics up.

Finally, I am here watching TV while surfing the web and I finally loaded Musicmatch Jukebox for the first time and some how it ended up playing Bittersweet Symphony. Second time today. I hadn't heard this song in maybe a year. Whatever happened to the Verve anyway? Where are they now? Calling VH1.

Nuriya parrotted us saying "Allah" last night, mashaAllah se. This, a few hours after mimicking mama's "Laa la, la LA laa" (Milkshake, Kelis). Aoodoobillah. Of course dada dadi immediately got into full shahada swing. Baby steps...coming soon.

Jay-Z. Head & Shoulders. This needs to happen.

Who's dad wears safari suits?

I am a firm believer in justice. I also believe we, as the little man, should fight all injustices against us by corporate America. A dollar is worth more to an individual than it is to Big Business. Below is feedback I sent to McDonald's via mcdonalds.com:

I am writing to complain about the lack of communication skills of McDonald's cashiers. This is the second time this year I have experienced this and it is quite baffling. The first incident occurred a couple months ago at the McDonald's [Express?] inside the Wal-Mart in Sterling, VA 20166.

Basically, I placed my order which included a request for a small cup for water. I look at my receipt and am charged $1.00 for a small Coke. Who orders a cup of water expecting to pay $1? If your policy is not to give cups for water, why don't your cashiers explain this instead of going ahead and charging customers for what obviously should be free. I believe in the state of Virginia, regular water (not bottled) cannot be charged for, but I may be wrong. Even if you can charge for it, isn't it extremely obvious that a cashier should be able to explain this to a customer?

In both cases, the cashiers in question did not seem to have a firm grasp of the English language. Basically, they can't express concepts which should be quote obvious, or they don't feel comfortable doing so. I don't begrudge them for not knowing our language yet, but customer service includes communication.

The manager in this case gave me $1 cash back without accounting for the tax. That's fine by me. I am just disheartened that customer service does not seem to be a priority in hiring cashiers. To me, it is painfully obvious that when one asks for a cup for water, they don't expect to be paying $1 for it. Any sensible cashier should at least know to explain that a customer will be charged, if this is McDonald's policy.

Thank you for your time.

Is this trifling? This fight is not about $1, although gift certificates will gladly be accepted alongside a corporate apology. There are two things in play here. First, the little man [me] getting shafted by big business. Again, relatively speaking, $1 in my pocket is worth more than $1 in a McDonald's earnings report. Hello, Billions Served. Millions screwed, I say.
Secondly, just the fact that there are people out there who don't have the common sense to know that when a person asks for a small cup for water, they don't want to pay the price of a Coke. Hello, McFly (<- that McFly came out before I made the mental connection with McDonald's; damn that was nice). These are McDonald's with self-serve soda fountains. Why would I explicity ask for a cup for water and expect to pay for it?

I got me some new whips the other day. Nuriya has her 9 month checkup today so I had to ride the Jet 35 miles to work today. I'm just learning stick so it was pretty stressful. I pretty much got it down except for starting on any incline so I avoided my usual route and took the one that ended up taking 1hr 45mins! S'all good with the Monsoon though.

I luh me some guacamole. Baja Fresh es muy bueno. But why do they charge for extra? I submit that guacamole is a condiment that should flow freely. OK bad pun post Mexican restaurant.

Motions yaar.

Hullo from Lahore! Or shall I say slaalakum. I was in Islamabad upon arrival but have been in Lahore for a few days. Picked up a couple of shalwar qamis from Anarkali. Just got back from some ice cream parloUr in Defence [sic]. OK that is all for now. D'hafiz.

Nuriya turned 6 months today.

She can:

Turn over off her back.
Turn over off her front (once).
Sit.
Reach out and touch anything within reach in one try.
Eat veggies (beat me to it).
Remember (when Mama walks over with a washcloth, she starts squinting in anticipation of her face being cleaned).
Entertain herself (while parents sleep in).

I love this kid!

Meredith. Gentlemen. This is the final rose.

Ahahahahahah!

Hail to the mutha freakin' Redskins. Today is a landmark day for the DC sports scene. Everyone remembers the cloudy day in 92 when Joe Gibbs retired from the Washington Redskins football organization. Winner of 3 Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks, coach was...err...is an all-timer. Gibbs returns today, after a 12 year hiatus, to the job that rightfully belongs to him. He brings a resume of success through hard work and a keen ability to make adjustments unlike any so-called peer. He bleeds burgandy & gold and does not sell out to the highest bidder like his contemporary Bill Parcells, the stink of Tuna you smell coming from Dallas by way of New Jersey...err...Boston...err...that swampland in the Meadowlands.

I remember the day Gibbs retired from the Redskins very clearly. A first year at the University of Virginia, I was in the gameroom getting ready to shoot some pool when I saw Coach getting ready for a press conference. A crowd quickly gathered, and when Coach was done speaking, the life had been sucked out of the gameroom. It should have been another ordinary day, but that day, unbeknownst to us, had set the tone for the next twelve years.

The glory of the 80s and 90s was soon replaced by a culture of losing. The proud Washington franchise made the ultimate mistake in soon hiring a former Cowboy, Norval Turner, to "coach" this team. It took seven dismal seasons for the organization to realize its mistake. But at this point, we grew accustomed to the futility. Expectations were lowered. We longed for days gone by, where victorious Sundays led to cheerful weekdays.

A cloud has hung over DC for the past dozen years. Steve Spurrier claimed that "sunshine follows the Gators." His words could not ring any truer.